Dancing With the Mist
by aewea
Summary: There was nothing that the great Orihara Izaya feared. crazy underground doctors that use you as their guinea pig? No. scary looking guys with tattoos all over their body?Plying with them was fun!and flying vending machines that are aimed at you?well, this might be a bit of problem...but still not that hard when you are a master of parkour!But being a girl?That was hard,and scary.
1. She would not cry

I re-read this and decided that it sucked, so I'm editing this (But I'm not changing too many things, just a few lines) and I'm trying to convince myself to finally watch drrr, so I might actually start updating this soon.

~~~~~~DRRR~~~~~~~

It was a normal night in the Durarara world, the moon was shining brightly, the vending machines were flying around and some crazy girl and Russian man were shouting strange things like 'sushi' or 'shizaya'.

yep, a pretty normal night... at least for the Durarara gang.

So our story starts in a _normal_ night with a smirking Orihara Izaya climbing up the stairs and getting to whatever floor an Izaya usually lives in.

The informant had had what you might call 'an awesomely good day' full of people he'd nearly killed, companies he'd bankrupted, and planes he'd generally messed up.

That of course, could be considered normal again, if it wasn't for one extra detail that had just made his day.

It was snowing.

And Izaya loved snow.

He wasn't sure why, but there was just something about the frozen, fresh lawyers of white covering the streets that cheered him up.

Maybe it was about it's beautiful contrast with freshly spilled blood, or the way it made people slip and fall down on their butt.

Or maybe it was just the fact that some of his very few happy childhood memories were akin with snow.

He could still remember the first time he'd built a snowman with his sisters - when they tried to kill him with snow balls - Or the snow ball fight he had with them (when his very kind and caring sisters tried to kill him with snow balls - _again_ -) or the time they just tried to kill him with snow balls...

Okay, let's forget about the whole childhood thing -Why focus on the past when you have the present?

He had lots of happy and joyful memories of Shizuo-chan and snow.

Like what? Um... like burying Shizuo-chan under a pill of snow and trying to kill him. or having a deathly snow ball fight with him _which ended with the raven throwing knifes and the blond destroying half of town. _

No?

well, what about the last time he tried to kill Shizuo-chan? That had been reallyyyy fun and exciting! Though it didn't have anything to do with snow ...

Anyway!

Regardless of all of those " trying to kill" stuff, Orihara Izaya loved snow and the thought of It always made him smile

"It was such a good day~" He happily exclaimed as he took off his coat. "If only Shizuo-chan could come play wit- Ouch!" He clutched his shoulder, rubbing at the sore spot.

How an old scar managed to hurt this much, he'd never know.

"I think I'm going to take a bath," He announced loudly, and not getting a reply, shrugged.

Slipping out of pants and shirt, he grabbed his pocket knife, and took a deep breath. "Annnd, here comes the part I hate," He said as he cut off the bandages around his chest.

He looked at the mirror, and seeing his pale, naked body, grimaced. "Yeah, I know, it's really ugly," he put his hand on his shoulder, following the ragged edge of the scar down to under his color bone, where the rawness of a burn had taken the old wound's place. "And absolutely disgusting," he touched the now free lumps on his chest.

Breasts,

something that Orihara Izaya wasn't supposed to have.

"You know," She mumbled as she turned the water on, "I really should find a better way of hiding you guys, it'd be a disaster if someone found out,"

She shakily sat sown, hugging her knees to her chest and shivering slightly under the hot- burning water that fell on her stiff shoulders.

She hated this, this feeling of being naked, of not having the protection of the layers of her clothes, this feeling of losing her disguise.

This feeling of being a woman, a creature that could easily be harmed.

Orihara Izaya wasn't a weak man –woman- there weren't many things that could scare him –her-, but being a woman –WEAK- was.

Maybe that was the reason that every time she didn't have her bandages on, she started to panic.

Disgusting

Helpless

Weak

That's what she was, curled into a ball in her own bathroom.

"Hey, get a grip," She said to herself with a shaking voice, "What'd Shizuo-chan say if he saw you like this?"

 _Probably something along the lines of 'get lost, you're making me sick'_

"I definitely don't want him to find out," She shook his head. "And not because I care about what that monster thinks of me, I just don't want him to think I'm weak."

' _but you are weak,'_ A sound at the back of his head reminded her.

"Shut up," She answered.

She got out of the tub and stood in front of the mirror, examining her body. She had a thin, not- so- muscular built and long, pale legs. Her skin was white, but damaged, covered by old scars and burn marks, and her hair…

She ran a hand through the short, black strands.

It was once long. She could still remember the waist-length pitch black hair that fell down her shoulders and framed her face.

It used to long and dark.

It used to be beautiful and feminine.

It used to be _Disgusting._

Her long hair had been the proof of her being helpless, the proof of her being weak, the proof of her being a _woman_.

And that was the exact reason she had cut it, because it reminded her of the truth she had tried so hard to hide from every one- that she was weak.

But it wasn't really her fault now, was it? It was all because she was a woman, and women were weak.

That was the first thing she had learned from his father, _Women are –she was- weak._

Weak, helpless, disgusting –SHE WAS DISGUSTING- they couldn't protect anything, protect anyone, they couldn't even protect themselves.

So they had to hide behind men and let them do the protection.

She was taught to run, to hide, and to let men do things – Because they were strong and she was weak.

She was taught these things and then left alone, with two little four years old to care about.

It didn't take her long to find the truth behind the fake smiles people would give her. to know the terror that lay in dark, narrow streets of Ikebukuro and the horror of getting catch in silent, empty death ends. _all alone_.

She'd learned to jump at every little sound and to smell trouble. She'd learned to keep her eyes open and her ears sharp. She'd learned fast and that was why she survived.

She had to learn Because this world was cruel.

Because this world was merciless.

Because This world was so fucked up.

Because this world was _Dangerous,_

 _And so were thieves._

 _And lots of other things she didn't even want to list._

empty, silent streets were dangerous.

The dark, drugs and drunks were dangerous.

Most of all, MEN WERE DANGEROUS

She was taught to run. taught to hide, and taught to let men do things. but this time she had her little sisters to take care of. So She couldn't run. She couldn't hide. She _could not_ Let men do things- Because they were dangerous.

She did not run and she did not hide. But she hide her gender under layers of bandages and decided to be a man- Because this way She was strong, She was safe, and her sisters - her little sisters who were too young to understand the danger- were safe too.

She needed to do that - Because ' _Women were weak and men were dangerous_ '. Those words were carved into her mind, into her soul, into her _body_ \- covering it with scars.

and that was why she pretended to be a man - because she did not want to be weak. Did not want to be helpless. Did not want to be so pathetic like when she was le-

She felt something wet on her cheek. ' _Damn!_ ' Was she...Was she crying?!No, No, No! Never! She would not cry. SHE. WOULD. NOT. CRY! so ... why was her check so damn wet?

But No, she was sure she wasn't crying - even If her eyes burned and she could see the tears that were stuck between her eye lashes - Because only the weak cried and Orihara Izaya _was not_ weak.

Even If she was a woman.


	2. Thanks,Brat

THIS WAS EDITED

A.N: So Here is the second chapter! First of all, I want to thank U guys for reading, reviewing and following this story. It made me really happy and I decided to post this chap soon~'

Something about this fic that I forgot to tell U before:

will be only 5 years older than his _Shall I use ' her'? _ sisters. Now she is around 20 or 21 and the time line will be around episode 7-10. (I'm not sure though) the age of most of the characters won't change - Izaya's classmates are 20-21 too -

characters may be OOC.

3\. Shiki and Izaya have known each other before Izaya became an informant, (I'm going to have a proper flash back of the first time they met each other soon. for now, this much is enough) so here they are closer to each other (even though It might not look like that) but Shiki sees Izaya as his son / daughter (maybe even more ~) and cares about her.

I don't own ANYTHING

PLZ R &R!

"Shiki-san you should really stop calling others at 5 in the morning. I could have been asleep; you know?" Izaya yawned as she walked into Shiki's office.

"Sit down Orihara," The Yakuza boss rolled his eyes, "This is important. "

"Tach, You're no fun!" jumping on the comfy looking sofa and crossing her arms, Izaya grinned, "So? what was important enough that you decided to wake me up from my well- deserved sleep? "

"I thought you know?"

Izaya just gave him an innocent look - Or more tried to give him one - She did a good job, considering the fact that no one can look that innocent with an evil grin on their face.

Shiki sighted. "This is about the Black crow gang. "

"Hm? What about them?"

" As you know - and Shut up I know you know - they are one of the most powerful underground organization in Ikebukuro and until some time ago - 2 weeks to be exact - they worked with us." He took a deep breath, looking the informant dead in the eyes," But then they decided it would be _funny_ if they betrayed us - which caused the death of 2 of my most trusted men and a chance for the police to arrest some of us. "

"Oh, What a tragic story!" Izaya raised both hands to wipe out the _non-exist tears_ at the corner of her eyes. " So? Don't tell me you want me to go visit them in prison or something? I can bring flowers?"

"No, and stop acting dumb. You know what I want. "

Izaya smirked.

"So, you want them dead, Ha? Well, I usually just sell information but since It's you ... I guess I can make an exception this time - Think of it as extra service - " She gave him a wink "So any special method of how I should do it? Make them jump of a building or shoot themselves? Hm... how about an accident wi- "

" I don't want them dead. "

"-ith- Ha?" She blinked at him, surprised.

" I said I don't want them dead." His looked at her with icily cold eyes. "At least for now..."

Izaya frowned "Okay so what do you want? "

"Information."

"Information?"

"seriously brat," Shiki rolled his eyes "Are you turning deaf or something? This is the second time today. Yes, I want information. "

" I told you not to call me that. " Izaya glared at him "and you didn't have to call me to come here at 5:00 A.M for some simple 'information' ! There's something called 'Text' that normal people use at times like this."

He just stared at her.

She sighted in defeat. " Yeah, whatever, I give you their _information_. Now If you don't need anything else- "

"It's not that easy."

She froze "What do you mean?"

This time, it was his turn to sigh, "They decided to betray us, do you think they did that without any preparation? "

She turned around and glared at him, her red eyes glinting dangerously. "Do you think I 'The great Orihara Izaya' won't be able to steal their information just because of some poorly preparation?"

" That's not what I meant."

"Then what?!" She snapped at him.

"I don't want the gang's information; I want the boss's. His personal data. and those are not going to be found easily."

" I know everything "She said in a threating tone.

"yes, you know. " He nodded "You can read people like an open book. You can manipulate them to do what you want. You can find out one's darkest secrets without even trying."

Shiki gave her a smirk " and that's what I called you for. There is going to be a big dance party to celebrate the boss's son birthday. I want you there. Talk to him and his family. Find out about his habits, his hobbies, his likes and dislikes." a moment of silence "and his greatest fears " His smirk grow wider " and then ... give them to me! I want revenge for what he did to my men. Death is too good for him ... " He murmured the last part but Izaya heard him anyway.

A scary, evil grin formed on her face. It was starting to look interesting...

"But" His tone suddenly turned serious. " They will be expecting you there."

"I can disguise myself."

He shook his head. "It won't be enough. I told you they prepared themselves for us. I'm sure they knew I would use you to gain information."

"Hey, Don't say it like that! " Izaya pouted "and I don't like being used." She said with disapproval.

"A simple disguise won't do. " He continued without paying her comment any attention. " I told you: 'They are expecting us ' There's no way you can get in like this" She huffed "well unless… " he looked at her with a strange expression on his face.

"Unless what?" She asked curiously.

He gave her a meaningful look.

Izaya stopped breathing. "No…" her already pale skin turned one shade paler." You can't mean that! There is no way that I'm going to do it! No!"

"Calm down! It's just for one night. It's not going to kill you. Beside- "

Her eyes widened in fear "No,No, ! You can ask me something like that! You know how afraid I I am! Of - Of those beasts-!" Her whole body started trembling. " I know I owe you a lot but I really can't!"

"Orihara listen to me-"

"No! I said I won't do it!"

"Orihara-"

"Leave me alone! I said I won't do it! " Great a panic attack! Just What Shiki needed! "Let me go! Let me go you- "

"CALM DOWN IZAYA"

The said girl froze and looked at Shiki with terrified red eyes - Shiki flinched. 'Damn those eyes…'

It wasn't the first time he saw them.

Something flashed in his mind. A faded picture, a memory, a 11 years old little girl with red eyes and pitch black hair and a face similar to the one that belonged to the woman in front of him.

He remembered it all: A dark alley, a little kid with a thin, skinny body, and so much red.

 _Shiki stumbled as he walked, barely managing not to trip on his own shoe lace and hardly walking in a straight line. Damn it! He shouldn't have drunk this much, But the bartender's dress cut was low, and she kept re-filling his glass, and the damn drink was good… and before he knew it, he was too drunk to stay straight without the help of his friends._

" _Damn," Yamamoto groaned, "She was really cute, wasn't she?"_

" _Sur' was," Amari laughed, "Too bad she wasn' interested, though."_

 _The rest hummed their agreement._

" _I still we could've got some if we tried a littl' harder."_

" _No way, that bitch was way too st-"_

 _The sound of a scream pierced the air._

 _The group froze._

" _Wha- What is that?" Amari asked in a shaking voice._

 _Shiki looked up._

 _Red was the first thing he saw-._

A crooked sob pulled him out of his thoughts. Right. it wasn't the time to have flashbacks. Orihara needed him.

"Hey, Calm down Iza-"

The young woman flinched and curled into a ball, trying to look as small as possible.

Shiki massaged his temples. Thanks to the past experiments, He knew that trying to calm the girl would only make everything worse. touching her would make her scream, talking to her would make her shake and silently sitting next to her would lead to her crying her eyes out. So Shiki took a step back and waited for Izaya to get a hold of herself.

It didn't take that long.

"I… Do I really have to do this?"

Shiki felt bad for forcing the raven to do something that terrified her this much but… "Yes." The death of his men wasn't something to be taken lightly.

Izaya gave him a weak, shaky smile "Have I ever told you how much I hate you?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"…"

"…"

"Seriously old man! Why can't you send someone else to go to that damn party?! Make someone else dress as a girl-Or use a real girl!"

"You are a real girl. "

If look could kill, Shiki would have been sliced, burned and eaten by wolfs by now.

Thanks god it couldn't.

"Fine, I'll do it! You better be grateful, you stupid old man."

"I am."

This shocked Izaya "Ha?"

Shiki glared at her " I told you I'm grateful brat. Now get out! I'll send someone to help you prepare for the party. You know how to dance , Right? "

"Yes..? "

"…"

"…"

"Don't tell me you don't."

"Okay, I won't."

"Be serious brat!"

"Would you please stop calling me that? and I know how to dance! But well… I'm not really used to the being the woman so… "

Shiki sighted. " Ask that secretary of yours to teach you. She knows about your … condition, doesn't she? "

"Naime?!No way!"

"Shut up brat. There's no other way."

"Don't. call. me. that."

"Whatever."

Izaya huffed. " anyway, I'm leaving. anything else that you need to tell me?"

"No."

"Good. See you soon… Shiki-San~" She walked out of the room.

Shiki smiled. He liked her rude and cheesy attitude better . this was more like that damn kid. "Hey, Brat !"

She turned around. annoyance visible in her eyes. "What now old man?"

"Thanks." and with that, He slammed the door in her face.

Sorry, It wasn't good right? TT^TT

anyway, plz review. It really makes me happy~


	3. Bang!

So yeah, even though I haven't updated for a long time, nothing has changed. I still don't own DRRR

"OUCH!" Izaya hit her head against the bookcase for the fourth time that day. "UGHHHHH." she rubbed her sore forehead " Why does this stupid-"

"It wasn't the bookcases fault Izaya." Namie didn't need to look up.

"Wha-?" Izaya stared at her in pure disbelief. "Whose side are you on?!"

She didn't even blink. "The bookcases"

The younger woman gasped. "Traitor!"

The brunette rolled her eyes and went back to her work. she wasn't in any mood to argue about a stupid bookcase. Not when there were so much stupider work waiting to be done.

in fact, she wasn't in the mood for anything stupid right now.

Her whole body felt hot and her head was spinning, making it almost impossible to focus, her eyes burned, her vision was blurry and her chest felt heavy which made breathing a real pain in the ass.

Not to mention the annoying running nose she had to deal with.

So, in total: Today just wasn't her day.

all she wanted was to go home and rest for the rest of the day but Nooooo. She had to come to this stupid office, do stupid work - which was her lazy boss job not hers! - and deal with stupid, stupid, stupidddddd 'Bangs' each time Izaya decided it was a good time to run into things.

but well, since there wasn't much she could do about it, she decided to just end her work soon - which wasn't easy with sore eyes and an aching body.

She had hoped for a peaceful, quite day without any 'Hey Namie, Any Idea Why is Shizuo -chan trying to break in with a sign in his hand?' and 'I'm getting bored so Let's make this guy jump of a building! I bet it'll be fun!' - and it had been _at least till now, which was a miracle_ but...

Miss. ' Even - more - stupid - than - the - all - the - stupid - thing - above ' was not making it easy -

"BANG!"

Great! sixth time that day and it was only 9 : 30 a.m .

"Ouch!"7th time...

"Ops!" 8th tim-

"BANG!" You know what? She didn't even care any mor-

"UGHHHHH! I'll kill this damn bookcase!"

She sighted again. it was going to be a long, long day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ time skip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Izaya was acting strange, Namie decided. Not that she didn't in a normal day, unless you counted starting wars and stealing other people's head -Yeah, HEAD! - as normal, which meant you, yourself were not normal btw, but circling around the room and bumping her head against everything in sight? Nope, that wasn't normal. even for Izaya.

and it made Namie worried.

Not that she cared about the younger woman or anything -that stupid troll could burn in hell for all she cared - but the whole " I'll give this damn furniture a slow, painful death " was getting out of hand.

"BANG!"

OK, THAT'S IT! something was definitely wrong!

"He-Hey Namie."

Of course, She didn't jump about 2 feet in the air.

and when she looked up there obviously wasn't anything even similar to worry in her eyes.

and she certainly wasn't worried because Izaya had just stumbled over her words - and the unwritten rule that Orihara Izaya, under any crappy situation and even while facing death, did. not. stumble-

...

Okay, so maybe she was a little surprised that Izaya had called her and had jumped a little -Not 2 feet people! not 2 feet! - but that was simply because that after a morning full of Bangs and Bangs and more Bangs ... She just hadn't expected a call.

"Y-yeah? did you need anything? " she tried to remain poker-faced.

"yeah. " Izaya bite her lip " actually I was wondering If you could..." Just by looking at her, Namie could tell that she was extremely uncomfortable. and ... were her hands shaking?

Namie rubbed her eyes. now that she looked closely, the informant's face seemed flushed .

She blinked.

No difference.

she blinked again.

and again...and again ... and again...

Nope. still the same.

Was she hallucination? or perhaps Izaya had a cold ...?

"Hey, are you listening to me?" an annoyed voice pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Ah. Yeah. " She blinked

"really?" Izaya crocked an eyebrow. " So what did I say?"

Namie felt her face warming with anger. " You asked me If I could ... " that stupid smirk on the raven's face really pissed her off. " If I could..." The damn smirk grew wider. "Tch." Why was she worried about this flea again?

" Well, it's not my fault that you stuttered over your words so much that It was almost impossible to catch what you said." She tried to act cool. " really, I can swear you were blushing! Who knew that when It comes to requesting something from her precious humans, the great orihara Izaya act so flushed? "

Izaya blushed again. "Shut- shut up. I wasn't."

"Yeah, sure. "

"anyway." the informant tried to keep her cool " I wanted to ask you to ... do me a favor."

"and that may be...?"

" I wanted you to teach me how to ..." She took a deep breath " How to dance."

Namie blinked.

Had Izaya just said what she thought she had? Or was it all a weird dream? Perhaps It was the side effect of her cold or some magic mushrooms she had eaten?

She was ready to assume it was any of the options above - even the magic mushrooms - but to think it was all real?

Nah, that wasn't possible. First Izaya had ran into thing, then she had stuttered and blushed - She had blushed for God's sake! - and then, here she was, asking _her_ to teach her how to dance.

Defiantly not possible.

"Wha -? Why?"

"Because I always wanted to become a ballerina when I grow up!" Izaya scowled at her. "OH, and It's not because a stupid old man wants me in a dance party - in women's clothes ,mind you - so I can steal some information for him . Nope, It's not that at all!"

Namie just stared at her.

"So? are you going to answer me or are you going to sit there gaping like a fish? "

Namie huffed. At least she was back to her annoying self. good.

"But ... a party? Do you think you can manage that?"

"Hey, who do you think I am?" She crossed her arms "I'm the great Orihara Izaya. Remember? Of course I can steal some poorly protected information."

The brunette gave her a look "I wasn't talking about the stealing or information part and you know it."

"So? What were you talking about?" The informant grinned.

Why was she even worrying about this brat?! "I mean" she took a deep breath. " Are you going to be ... well...Ok? "

"I won't enjoy it." yeah, that much was for certain. " But I have to. and I don't think anything... bad would happen. "

"You are going to have a panic attack as soon as a man touch you." Namie dead-panned.

The raven's eyes went cold. " I'll do something about it."

"What do you mean somethin- ?"

A loud voice made both of them jump out of their skin. Someone was banging against the door. loudly.

"What the - yeah. yeah. I'm coming! just stop before you break the door. "

Namie just stood there, watching the younger woman's back. No matter what she said. It was clearly visible that she was troubled by the thought of wearing a dress.

She bit her lip. To be honest, she didn't think Izaya could do it. best informant or not she had her weaknesses - and this was the biggest of them all.

She still remembered the day she had found out the truth about her boss. the day she had seen the damaged skin under the fur coat, black shirt and bandages that she always wore -How could she forget? the image of burned and marked skin still haunted her in her dreams - the day she had seen The great Orihara Izaya shaking and Vulnerable.

It was a long time ago - about one month after she had become Izaya's secretary.

 _Namie was angry. Like really, really angry. No, screw that. She was furious! Why? well, Why didn't you ask that idiot, sadistic boss of hers?!_

 _First of all, He had made her work over time for a whole damn week and then yesterday, he hadn't let her go home till 2:30 in the morning because she hadn't finished doing_ ** _his_** _share of work!_

 _And not just that! He had asked her to 'Come to work at 6 : 00 a.m ' and had had the nerve to threaten her ._

 _And then, Just because it wasn't enough, he had made her wait outside for 30 freaking minutes and, after opening the door, had ran away shouting " Sorry, I slept in!"_

 _So, she didn't hesitate even one second before kicking the door of Izaya's room open and screaming at him._

 _~~~~~~~~~~~DRRR_

 _Anyway, How was it? Not too bad I hope ..._

 _PLZ review guys and If U are going to say It was awful or some thing . TELL ME WHAT WAS AWFUL and help me fix it . Not just like "Grammer":\\\\\_

 _Have a nice dayyyyy_


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